#and is hence ignorable by most of the fandom.

[synnthamonsugar]

I'm not letting this stay in the tags....

fandom will see a female character with the most interesting backstory and inner turmoil in the entire media and be like “…anyways. where’s the closest man we can pretend has the exact problems she has”

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

your superhero AU has broken my heart 💔💔💔 protective Ted is so important to me

thank you!! ive been enjoying playing with it. and yeah!! like. i just. protective, pining ted and trent's like i am NOT a damsel!! (<- in this instance, is, in fact, a damsel. he will make an exception for one (1) person)

and like more seriously just. the trust it's about the trust!!! trent doesn't rely on anyone and he gets himself out of bad situations and he's lowkey terrified of this hero who's got him cornered and he's been in this horrible situation for so long but then it's ted and he immediately relaxes. and ted--you know ted realized they had trent and immediately panicked and was ready to just bust in there and it was only beard holding him back and making him be practical about it that didnt have him just bursting through the walls ten minutes after realizing. and him realizing trent trusts him.... holding him and being like oh. i can protect him this way and i can comfort him this way and it's working... augh

anyway im glad you like it 😩

[fandom-rants]

On jennlikespie's last comment (I will not be @-ing her because she clearly does not want to engage further):

When you said "Even with all those examples given a extremely large glaringly obvious detail OP douche canoe has failed to consider or realize is that Matoaka was a real person" it certainly looked like you were downplaying Peter Pan in your efforts to talk once again about how Matoaka is a real person, which we all already fucking know. And it appears you're the one with shitty-ass reading comprehension because not once did I say people should fucking ignore the racism in Pocahontas, what I said (if you would read) is, and I quote, "if you still say that [other Disney films] are still good, entertaining movies despite the misogynistic, morally dubious, or racist moments and viewpoints in them, then you need to shut the fuck up about Pocahontas." Which means, if you're struggling to understand, that all of them are racist and all of them should be lumped together as such instead of pretending one is worse than others. Which is what you did.

Yes! Duh! Matoaka was a real fucking person! Pocahontas in the movie Pocahontas is a character and should have been given a different fucking name because the bullshit that was written is so whitewashed it's insane! Hence why I refer to the character in the movie as Pocahontas, because it's not fucking Matoaka and shouldn't be lumped in with her. But her being a real person doesn't make it more racist than any other fucking film. They are all fucking racist.

This is why humanity fucking sucks ass. You and I are arguing the same basic concept, but you were too busy getting pissy to actually read and you ended up accidentally doing the thing others have done to you by blowing off Peter Pan to talk about Pocahontas, which was my fucking point.

[familyagrestefanblog]

I think I know which post you're talking about, but in general, yeah, it feels...very dishonest to automatically categorize every fic that has even the most basic level of negative emotional consequence from - for example - Adrien towards Marinette immediately as saltfic. Even the ones that are literally just 'Adrien gets upset for 5 minutes for something anyone would get upset about, they talk and Adrien's feelings aren't swept under the rug. That's it."

I find it extremely concerning that people aren't even allowed anymore to write any kind of fanfictions to deal with their grievances with Canon ml through basic emotional catharsis (which is what fanfictions are for), especially when it's about Marinette, without being called a salter.

Absolutely everything besides fluff and sugar is automatically salt now. There is hardly anything in between anymore. And people wonder why the Ladynoir July for example wasn't as well-participated as it once was.

I'll tell you why: it's because people know exactly that any mentioning of especially Marinette's shortcomings is a mine field now, but for most that's what would be needed to at least some level to create even positive fan content. I know that's what happened to me again. I WANTED to participate in it again. I MISS participating in it and tried it over and over again to keep the content in a vague vacuum but I simply couldn't manage to not include at least some layer of emotional catharsis through Maribug wanting to make up for her undealt canon faults/ shortcomings

Because for me canon feels like salt now for having Marinette NOT do that. So of course any Ladynoir shipping fic I'll write will have Marinette characterized as the Marinette I loved for so long who genuinely loved her Chaton enough to bring up important stuff she wants to set right and listen, and not keep hiding behind her free passes on his expense, endangering his life for her personal needs to not feel uncomfortable in a conversation.

Sorry that my Marinette wouldn't do that and I can't bring myself to write her as her canon self or leave that unchallenged because it literally goes fundamentally against what the Marinette I still hold dearly in my heart stands for.

So, yeah, count me as upset that any fanfiction now counts as SALT where Marinette is asked to deal with the fact that she unintentionally hurt a person she supposedly loves dearly and it lead to him being justifiedly upset for once in a way that isn't priorizing her over his feelings and entire personhood. Because that shouldn't be salt and I really don't believe that the qualification for salt is THIS abysmally low when it comes to the other characters' honor.

Rarely any of the season 4 'saltfics against Ladybug' I read DIDN'T literally end in a happy ending. Because that's what we wanted too. We just wanted emotional catharsis and explore interesting ideas as well, sorry that your and Canon Marinette can't handle that anymore

Mine can.

I saw someone refer to the fics that came out where Chat finds out about Ladybug telling Alya her identity in Gang of Secrets and gets upset about it as "saltfics" and... I guess? You could consider any of the "Adrien finds out that Ladybug lied about how Gabriel died and/or that he's a sentimonster and she didn't tell him and gets upset about it" fics to be saltfics as well, if you're defining saltfics to mean "any fic that criticizes a character's actions." Which WAS what it was taken to mean when it first started being used.

Thing is, when I use it, that's not what I mean? Just to be clear, criticizing and analyzing a character's actions, and even being negative towards them as a result, is generally okay in my book. When I say that I hate saltfics, I'm more talking about Ron the Death Eater stuff.

Like for me, what I have a problem with is more fics that

A. Criticize characters for shit they never did. Like having Alya ostracize Marinette, outright try to bully her, fics that make Adrien tell Marinette not to make a scene even when Lila's clearly maliciously, intentionally hurting Marinette right in front of him (as opposed to that possibly being just collateral damage of a non-malicious lie), stuff that didn't canonically happen, you know?

B. Inflict disproportionate retribution for things the characters did, whether it's canonical or not. A fic may only be criticizing Alya for asking for evidence that Lila's a liar or is at fault for something before jumping to conclusions, but if Marinette's response to that reasonable request is to cut off her friendship and revoke her miraculous, then that's still very salty.

But yeah. The vast majority of "Adrien gets upset with Ladybug for hiding things from him" fics don't qualify as saltfics by my own personal metric, because most of them are only faulting Ladybug for things she actually canonically did, and usually have a pretty proportionate response - especially for season 5 aftermath fics. Lying about to your boyfriend about how his father died, what kind of person he was, and not telling him he's a sentimonster IS fair reason to be angry.

I generally like fics to still have them make up, but I don't like putting those fics on the same level as the "Alya leads the class in beating up Marinette and yelling insults at her while Adrien just ignores her cries for help even while she's being physically hurt" fics, they're on such WILDLY different levels that it's comical.

[nyxwoodstone]

Televangelism | Part 1

Part 1 | Part 2

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Reader

Summary: Simon offers Johnny a place to stay the night after a deployment, and Johnny gladly obliges. Much to his surprise, there's more to Simon Riley's home life than he previously thought.

TLDR: Soap doesn't know that Simon has a wife...he finds out when he goes to his Lt's house. :)

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: mentions of canon-typical violence, female reader, pregnant!reader, Simon and reader already have a toddler..., maybe a little OOC Ghost but allow it, no smut all plot, still MDNI I swear to God, idk like minor swearing but if you're from the COD fandom I feel like you should know that, let me know if I missed anything.

A/N: if you saw this previously posted to another account, no you didn't :) I don't really know what to call this type of fic, it is a Ghost x Reader, but it's got quite a bit of self-reflection and characterization from Soap. very little beta, but msg me if there's any horrendous spelling or grammar issues. i'm not American, hence the spelling differences. let's just ignore the fact that Ghost inviting Johnny to sleep at his house is more than a little too friendly for special forces guys, let's just ignore that plz!!!!!

Dictionary: SO - superior officer Civvies - civilian clothing NOD's - them night vision goggle thingo's Padre - colloquial name for Bristish Army Chaplains

-------------------------------------------------------

It was done.

Another successful operation. A difficult operation.

The entire squad had returned with just minor scrapes and cuts, and more shit to compartmentalise. Not that there was much compartmentalisation these days, the missions just rolled into each other. Sometimes there was a week break in between, sometimes a few months. Never enough time for Soap regain his footing in civilian life. Never enough time to get past the 'disruption' phase of reintegration that the chaplains were always talking about.

Every time he flew back to base, he'd get the same bleeding rundown from a different Padre. Every. Time.

"Now, there are five stages of reintegration after deployment, Sergeant."

"I know that."

"Humour me."

He'd fight back the urge to roll his eyes. Sometimes, he'd just do it. The chaplain would continue.

"Pre-entry, you've done that already, psych evals and such. You know the drill. Then, reunion, you'll see your family again-"

Shit. He needed to call his sister.

"-and take some time for yourself. Next is disruption, you'll realise not everything is the same as when you left it, people will have new routines, new hobbies, it's normal to feel resentful during this stage-"

And they'd go on. Tell him about communication, then normalcy. But he never got that far. He'd go home to his apartment, visit his mother, go to coffee with his sister (she worried about him, always did), and then he would be off on his next operation. He'd get a visit, or a call, and he'd be off, with little word to family. There was never enough time. Soap wondered why the task force needed the same spiel every time they returned, it wasn’t as if this was new. It was old. This runaround was old now: United Kingdom, to some forsaken country, to back home, with more memories and less connections. It was what he loved. But it was also what he despised. 

"Johnny."

Most of the squad had dispersed, each finishing psych evals and heading off to the on-base housing,  their cars, or the mess hall. He didn't actually know if the mess was open at this time of night, he supposed it was only the wee hours of the morning, but God-knew. Johnny had just finished his packing, and was heading towards the unremarkable block of small apartments on the far side of the base. It was a fair hike, but he'd do it. There wasn't another choice, but his flight wasn't until tomorrow, and he staunchly refused to stay awake all night. He'd sleep tonight, then go to debrief, then go the fuck home.

"Johnny."

It was Ghost, in civvies, hands in his jacket pockets. Mask gone. Johnny supposed that was just the way it ought to be, he couldn't wear it everywhere, and wearing it in civvies would certainly give any onlookers, soldiers or not, reason to be curious. Attention was not what men in their position needed. Still, seeing his face was…almost unsettling.

"Lt.?"

*************************************

Simon hung up the phone and tucked it in his back pocket. He felt God-awful calling at this time of night, but he had to do it. He'd sworn to, every time he got back to base, he had to call. Johnny was staring out at the quiet base, the parade grounds just a few hundred metres away, still lit up in the night.

"Johnny."

He'd never really thought about where Johnny must go after operations, he didn't even assume anything, once they were back on the ground, once they were out of the shit, it wasn't any of business, or any of his concern.

"You're allowed to like the men you work with, love." His wife's voice rang in the back of his mind.

He did…like them. They were good lads. Got the job done. Stitched each other up. Didn't leave each other behind. But liking them outside of work? Their job was far too dangerous to make close attachments like that. In his younger days, when he wasn't in the special forces, he'd made…’friends’ wasn't the right word for it. He'd made…acquaintances with some of the soldiers on his unit, they'd go out for drinks, egg each other on in the pub, take each other home after a long night out. But special forces were another world. Here, everything mattered. Every little thing mattered. And perhaps he was just older now, he'd matured more. Back then, he hadn't had anything to lose. Now, though-now he had everything to lose. A family, a home - a life.

But despite all of that, he had grown to appreciate Johnny. He was a good man, in the shit, and out of it.

They'd talked a few times about their lives outside of the army. Nothing important, nothing below surface level. Soap had a mother who had health problems, and a sister who worked in a hospital (he hadn't told Simon what she did, or even told him her name), and who worried about him constantly. Johnny joked that she would end up a patient one day if she kept stressing so much. Simon had told him that he lived far enough from the base that he wasn't constantly thinking about work, he'd told him that he played football as a kid; that was it. Not a lick more.

Johnny gave up far more information willingly than Simon ever could. But they got along. That was enough.

The Scot stood across from him, still staring out at nothing. 

"Johnny."

Soap turned his head.

"Lt.?"

"Going home?"

“Sleeping on base tonight, sir, then got a flight tomorrow night.”

On base? After that operation? Simon sighed inwardly and observed the bent hunch of his subordinate's shoulders. He knew that feeling. Finishing a mission alive, but with more red in his ledger. That was all good and well, but the final fucking straw was those damned prison cages that the military called bedrooms. It took a moment to debate, no longer.

"Mine’s 15 minutes from the airport.”

Soap’s eyebrows raised at the Lieutenant’s offer.

“It’s alright, sir, I’ll survive here.”

“After that shit? You need a real bed, Johnny.”

The sergeant ran a hand over his face and dropped his shoulders.

“Y-yeah, alright, Lt. If that’s alright with you.”

“Let’s go,” Ghost turned on his heel and began towards the car park, taking out his phone to shoot off a quick text.

'One of the boys needs somewhere to stay. He's a good man.'

****************************************************************************************

'One of the boys needs somewhere to stay. He's a good man.'

You groggily shot back a text.

'Get home safe, love you."

Simon had been due back for a few days now, but you'd been trying to get used to the unpredictability of his work schedule.

This was nothing new, though. You knew exactly what you were signing up for when you got married to him. He had sat you down when you had first gotten serious, and showed you his will.

That had been an aggressive wake-up call. You knew how dangerous his job was. No one on the planet Earth was foolish enough to think that special forces meant 'safety.' You knew he could die any time he went away. But the long-term reality of that fact didn't set in until you sat beside him and scanned your eyes over that document. You didn't feel connected to your body. It was as if you were peering in on some other person's life, quietly staring through the looking glass to see some insane woman who was desperately in love with a man whose life meant very little up against the interests of international security. To your credit, you hadn't cried when he showed you. How badly you had wanted to. But you didn't. You grit your teeth and clenched your fists. He could die at any moment. So you had better make the most of every second you had with him.

You'd told him as much and he had accused you of not taking his job seriously. A method of self-preservation you recognized from your years of being with him. You had told him he wasn't going to push you away so easily. He had left in a huff and came back the next day with an apology on his lips, and a ring in his hand.

There was no pomp about it, just simple, and practical. So very Simon Riley. 

Simon had never been a particularly romantic man, and God, was he difficult to read. But he loved you. He did. And you adored him. And you'd made it this far, a few years of marriage, one kid in, and one on the way; you'd done it. You would keep doing it until the day you dropped cold. So would he, he'd told you so hundreds of times. 

No, he was not romantic, but he showed you in other ways. He would rub your back when you were tired, he would open doors for you, or kiss you gently when you needed it. Simon Riley was a man of few words, but frequent action. You loved him for it.

The first time you'd met him, you'd nearly gone weak in the knees. Cliché. He teased you for it endlessly, you never should have admitted that to him. But how were you to help yourself, he was a handsome, well-muscled man with a scowl that you found endearing. You still found that deep scowl endearing today, and on more than one occasion, you had gently pinched his cheek when he pulled that face. He would always chuckle and bat your hand away, biting the inside of his mouth so there was no looser skin for you to pinch again.

Simon Riley was, in your (biassed) opinion, the most handsome, most incredible, most loving man to ever live. And he was yours. Whenever he came shopping with you, or took you out somewhere, it was impossible to escape the stares that other women gave him. Part of you despised it, part of you basked in it. You'd lean in to whisper something in his ear, or pat him gently on the chest, anything to mark him as yours. See this man, he's mine. He'd swear other men did the same to you, but you didn't believe him. He certainly believed himself though, placing a hand on the small of your back or tucking a piece of hair behind your ear whenever he thought he saw eyes on you. It was sweet.

You two had this little…thing. This cocoon for just you two. The comfort and safety that flowed between the both of you had been years in the making, and had taken many, many arguments and discussions to solidify. And you had argued, sometimes into the night hours, going back and forth about trust, and patience, and understanding. You had often had to fight for his agreement, or for his trust, but you had never had to fight for his love. That had come without question, but you'd had to fight for him to show it to you, for him to allow himself one good thing in life. He was different now, all those years of being with you, and working on himself, and all the absolute hell that he had been through. He was different, and you loved the man he was, and the man he had become. No one at his job knew how gentle he could be, the softness he was capable of. No one.

Although, you supposed that was about to change. He was bringing 'one of the guys' to your house, to stay. You had told him before that you had absolutely no problem with him bringing his friends - he wasn't a fan of you calling them that - over. If they needed somewhere to stay, you were more than willing to house them, they were strong men facing down the worst of the world's threats, they deserved somewhere to feel safe, if only for one night. He'd told you he might - although you'd always suspected that he wouldn’t - allow one of his squad mates into his home, and you'd encouraged him to do so if it was necessary. Tonight was the night.

Simon had called you as soon as he could, like he always did.

"I've landed, love, I'll be heading home soon."

"Good. How are you feeling?"

"Tired."

"Hungry?"

"Just ate here."

"Alright, I'll be in bed, please wake me up."

"Will do. I love you."

"I love you too. Drive safe."

He sounded exhausted on the phone, nothing out of the ordinary though, he was always tired when he came home. You were remiss to admit to yourself that you were tired too. You ran a hand over your stomach. It had swelled up in the time that Simon had been gone. What a difference just a few weeks made. You'd had to attend your scheduled scan alone, and had the photos in the drawer next to your bed, ready to show Simon when he got home.

This baby had been something of a surprise. Not an enormous one, though. Simon and yourself had been significantly less careful in the months leading up to when you found out, and you'd talked about it: another kid, the whole thing. He had been apprehensive to say the least, so you had waited without resentment. He needed time, and God knew, you needed time, so you had both taken time. It had taken a year or so of discussions, he was terrified to become his father. He would never be his father, never. He was nothing like him, nothing. And he had come to his own decision. Being a father would be new, terrifying, different, but he put an ounce of faith in himself, and-

- And then you were late.

You wished you could be like those women in movies who have no idea, and have a whole revelation about being pregnant. But you were not stupid, you were practical, it was one of the things Simon often told you that he loved about you. So practicality it was. You were sure you were pregnant. Three positive pregnancy tests later, and that sealed the deal.

Then you'd burst into tears in your bathroom.

God, who were you to think you could do this? He was due to leave for a three-week operation in two days. You'd be alone in your first few weeks, with a young toddler as well, who's needs were more important than your own.

You didn't hear Simon come home from his run, you'd hardly heard the jagged tone to his voice when he pushed the door open. What a sight it must have been for him. You, curled into the bathroom wall, crying hysterically and hugging yourself. He did well to hide his panic, the soldier in him must have taken over for a few seconds. He scanned the bathroom floor, then checked you over for injuries, asking what was wrong the whole time. Then he'd scanned the bathroom counter and found the three tests lined up. He knew what they were, but bless him, he didn't know if they were negative or positive, the lines meant nothing to him.

"You're pregnant?"

You'd barely managed a nod and to his absolute credit, he did not clam up. He did not shut his mouth, or grit his teeth, or sink back onto his heels. He had reassured you, pulled you into his lap on the floor and talked you out of your hysterics. He'd waited patiently until you could talk. And you had been fine. You loved him, he loved you, and you both loved this baby. You would be fine. It had never been so hard to say goodbye to him as he left for his next mission. You'd never been so panicked whilst he had been away. You had to call your friend to come and stay with you for the time he was away, so she could help you stay out of your thoughts and help with the little toddler who was always asking where her Daddy was.

But all of that panic always subsided when he came home, when he lay beside you and breathed quietly as he slept. Everything was better when he was there. And he would be in an hour or two, so you allowed yourself to get some rest until you heard his tires in the drive.

************************************************************************************************************** 

Every few seconds, the car was forced into the dull yellow shine of the street lights. Soap wanted to ask how much longer they would be travelling, but for lack of better words than ‘are we there yet,’ he remained silent, watching identical rows of darkened townhouses amble by. It had been a long drive though, long enough that Johnny had glanced at the clock on the car's electronic display once or twice, just to make sure he wasn't losing his mind.

Suburbia was not quite what Soap had imagined when he thought of his lieutenant's home, although he couldn’t pinpoint exactly where he thought Ghost might live. Far from base was all the information he had to guess from. Everyone has to stay somewhere, right? Guiltily, John realised he hadn’t much considered that Simon did in fact, live a civilian life. For weeks or months at a time. The task force wasn’t on duty 24/7, but Ghost, as a normal person? Someone you might see crossing the street? Carrying groceries? It hasn’t crossed his mind.

Strange.

Strange to think of such a deadly man in such a domestic sphere.

They were the same though, he supposed. Just as deadly as each other. Just as domestic, too.

The low rumble of a flight path ahead served to calm Soap, so used to noise as he winded down. Silence was deafening, silence was dangerous. Deep down, although he struggled to admit it, the long string of silence that met him in his own home terrified him. The emptiness, the void that greeted him when he first entered his flat, before the click of his fingers on the light switch, before he turned on the industrial fan beside his couch and before the kettle started to whistle. The silence would grip him around the neck, trying to pull him into his thoughts.

Close-knit housing soon dropped off into plots of land, with sparser houses and longer driveways. The expected pricing of these blocks didn’t escape the sergeant.

Another hour or so later, when the modern street lights had long since faded out into antiquated street lamps every hundred metres, the car began to slow.

“We’re here.” Ghost ripped the quiet in two with the gruff edge of his voice, turning off onto a lined driveway. In the dim light, the house stood modestly. Perfectly normal. Far enough away from other houses to be private, but close enough to be watchful of the neighbours. How fitting.

The ignition rumbled to a stop as Ghost turned the key and exited the car.

Boots hitting the stone, Soap immediately felt at odds with this house. It wasn’t his. It was Ghost’s, a man he knew very little about. It wasn't enemy territory, perhaps this was worse: friendly territory. Too friendly territory. A peaceful space, one that he shouldn't be encroaching on.

He followed said man to the door, crunching quietly up the drive and swinging his bag over his shoulder, a more comfortable hold for his exhausted muscles.

Ghost grunted quietly as he unlocked and pushed the door open, swearing and muttering something about getting it fixed.

“Boots off.” He spoke rather quietly and Soap responded immediately, shrugging out of his boots and sitting them next to a few others at the door. His first sign that something was…amiss, was that there were a few pairs of shoes far too small for Simon, stacked neatly on a wooden shelf next to the door.

He was greeted with a long hallway as he followed Simon through the quiet house. His second sign that something was amiss, was that this house smelled, to put it kindly, feminine. It did not smell like an empty house, nor one that was inhabited by a lone man. Unless of course, Simon Riley had a penchant for vanilla-scented candles. Soap suspected he did not.

A few photographs and decorations adorned the walls but they were impossible to make out in the dark. Soap’s fingers twitched towards his head a split second before he was pulled back to reality and realised that there were no NOD's to help him out here. A stupid instinctual move that he found himself doing more and more these days.

Compartmentalisation, his ass.

Ghost pushed a door to his right open, it creaked quietly in the silent house.

“Spare room’s in here, bathrooms to the left-“

“Thanks, Lt.”

“Take a shower, but keep it down, the missus’ll be asleep.”

And as if he hadn’t just flash-banged Soap, Ghost left, turning on his heel and heading further into the house. 

Next Part

[evis-gossip]

His mission.

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x reader

Categories: Light angst, fluff, mostly hurt/comfort.

Warnings: Protective! Ghost (he’s a warning okay). Talk of injuries. No use of Y/N. Allusions to long hair and small body.

Word count: 0.8k words

A/N: Pls have in mind I’m super new to this fandom and have never played COD, hence, I got no clue about the lore. Feel free to let me know fi anything's wrong.

You were his mission. The 141 had to find you, unharmed if possible, forced if necessary.

But when he found you, his heart clenched. Simon didn’t even think he had feelings anymore, and yet, your curled up frame, in the corner of the room, barely covered in a thin hospital gown, the skin exposed littered in cuts and bruises, shaking and whimpering, cold and most likely terrified, he found himself questioning his own lack of feelings.

Something deep inside him made him want to protect you at all costs. Take you and cradle you in his big arms, hold you close and wipe your tears away. And that’s exactly what he did.

He put his weapon down, under Gaz and Soap’s curious and nearly judgmental gaze. He approached you as if it were the case of a small animal, with extended hands and a cautious heart.

You hide your face between your knees, expecting the hurt, the pain to come, it never did. His warm hands settled softly on your back and your knee, trying to bring a kind of comfort he never known himself. “Hey, there” he sounded surprisingly soft, but you still whimpered “It’s alright, you’re safe now”. He didn’t hesitate to sit himself right next to you, while the rest of the squad secured the perimeter.

It took some coaxing, but he finally got you to let yourself be touched without crying. He wrapped you up in his baklava and scooped you up in his arms, cradling you like a small child. He carried you effortlessly to the aircraft, bowing to himself to not let you go unless absolutely necessary. Every time he heard you wince when he accidentally pressed his calloused hands to a bruise, he had to physically restrain himself from finding the monsters that did this to you and beating them to a pulp. But first, he was going to get you cleaned up, find out who you were and protect you with his life.

He got to the plane before you fell asleep on his chest, which wouldn’t have been the worst, but it wasn’t his plan. This was: he sat down on his designated spot and sat you down on his lap, the baklava tight around your shoulders. He pulled his skull mask off so that you saw his face and hopefully, recognized (trusted) him when you woke up. He brushed your hair back with his rough hand, mostly to make you look at him. His blonde hair was disheveled and his brown eyes tired, but kind, the type of kindness neither of you remember receiving in a long time. Maybe that’s why he took to you so easily.

“Name’s Simon. What’s yours, angel?” He broke the silence, almost in a soft whisper, bringing you out of the spell that had you lost in his eyes. You nearly squeaked as you hid your face in his chest. On one hand, he was disappointed he couldn’t get a word out of you. On the other, he was glad you found comfort in him. He still held close for the remainder of the flight, caressing your back gently, lulling you to sleep.

By the time you woke up, you were still in his arms, being carried to the medical tent at camp. He had the highest respect for his superiors, but right now, he was ignoring their orders to report the mission immediately. That could wait. He needed to make sure you were taken care of, everything else was secondary. He laid you down gently on the cot, but you whimpered and he was quick to cradle you again. You let yourself be checked over as long as he was holding you. The nurses said you needed rest, lots of fluids and mostly nutrients. He felt his heart in a tight fist at hearing you were suffering severely from malnutrition and dehydration. They had you hooked to an IV and on sedatives. Before he knew, you were out like a light, and again, not a word from you.

He wiped your still wet cheeks before finally laying you down on the cot, never tearing his eyes away from you. He had your tiny hand wrapped in his, and in your pale state, but peaceful slumber, he had the quiet to realize against his will, that he could never let you go. He didn’t even know your name. You were his mission. He couldn’t find it in himself to care. Price came by to get a mission report and “inspect the target”. Simon didn’t like the sound of that. They could run tests, get fingerprints, find your identity, what they had done to you, later. Right now, they had you, so they could fuck right off.

He had you, and he would keep you safe.

[fllnrdr]

So… I have a lot to say about this post I saw on my feed today. I took screenshots and blocked out the username for the sake of the OP. I didn’t want this to be a callout post for one specific user, and do not wish them any hate or harm. I DO have a whole heap to say about this and the treatment Charles gets from the rdr fandom as a whole, not only the OP in the screenshot.

I have a lot of problems with this post, and I have been wanting to talk about this issue and pattern I’ve noticed in the rdr community. Again, I do not mean to send any hate in OP’s direction or suggest that OP is racist in any sense. With that being said…

It’s an inherently racial stereotype to assume that Charles, a black and native man, is illiterate with such a lack of evidence or real reasoning behind it. He was isolated for most of his life after the age of thirteen, and he’s been with a gang for only six months. He is very private, and he is shy. He doesn’t talk much at all, much less about reading. I have never seen this sort of assumption made about any other character, claiming they’re illiterate, because they’re never seen reading at camp.

This is the most ridiculous take I have ever seen. Charles is the one who buried Arthur with his own two hands and created his gravestone. He was the only person who knew where Arthur was buried, hence being the sole creator of Arthur’s final resting place. Charles’ handwriting is the one we see on the gravestone. Charles is the one who wrote the inscription on the cross. He is not illiterate.

I think a problem I have with a lot of Charles fans is that they see him as a blank slate. They see Charles, a physically attractive man, who is quiet and take him for that alone. He is often seen as a blank canvas to project their own ideas onto and sort of mold to their own use and convince. And often times, whether knowingly or not, Charles is consistently watered down to racial stereotypes. Race is obviously a part of who he is, and it affects a lot of his actions, as it does with everyone, but that is not all who he is.

Charles is clinging to the fringes of what little of his culture that he does have. His mother was taken from him as a boy, and he holds onto what little he does have and that absence of his mother, and both of his cultures (because people also tend to ignore the fact that he is also black) is a huge part of who he is. But a lot of folks would rather see his shyness as blankness. He is not levelheaded, but he is moral. He is not always morally correct though. It’s frustrating to constantly see who he is being ignored for the sake of the false persona that’s been created for him.

I think a lot of folks need to listen to the one dialogue of Charles opening up at the campfire. Yes it is a relatable speech for a lot of reasons, but it is also about his race, how he experiences the world, and how he feels as though he has no place because of the loss of his mother, the lack of knowing who he is, his culture, and a whole host of other things. He is one of the best written characters in the game, and to brush that aside to make him into this ‘softhearted super caring ideal s/o’ is so frustrating. This is the same man who was ready to kill Uncle if the need arose. He is moral, but they are morals of his own, and he is not always correct. He is also flawed, just like everyone else. He is not a saint. He is a flawed and conflicted man.

To disregard Charles for who he is, is such a great disservice to the character and to all the work put into him, his story, and other people who have and continue to share the same experiences as he does.

[heavenlyraindrops]

♱Father Forgive Me (For I have Sinned) ~Chapter Two♱

Lucifer Morningstar x Angel!Reader Fandom: Hazbin Hotel Chapter Two Warnings: profanity How to find the other chapters in my pinned post

♱ In which the purest soul in Heaven falls from grace… for the Devil. ♱

[Chapter Two]

“[name]!”

You turned your head, before seeing Emily racing towards you to tackle you to the ground in a hug. You laughed, although it came out as more of a wheeze under her crushing grip, and hugged back. She raised her head, eyes watery. 

“Adam said you disappeared,” she said, and the barely restrained fury at him was evident in her voice, which dropped to an incredulous whisper. “Where were you? What happened? Sera’s mad as hell-“

“He didn’t leave me,” you managed to crack a reassuring smile, and Emily’s shoulders drooped at your next words, “I flew off.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that he neglected his responsibility. And, frankly, ignored my direct orders to keep you safe.”

You raised your head to see Sera, her forehead creased in a stressed frown. “Come with me to my office.” She began to turn, then paused, eyebrows pulling right down, deepening her frown. “Is that blood on your clothes?”

You glanced down. The dark patches seemed to be covered with a thin gilded sheen. “I-it’s nothing, really,” you babbled, scrambling to wipe it off, only to see most of it had dried.

Sera didn’t seem convinced.

Emily pulled you up before you followed them hesitantly, the confusion on her face at the situation evident, even though she was smiling at you nervously.  You gulped. 

Charming. 

♱♱♱

“So, to be clear, you let [name] fly off and put herself in harm's way even though she has no experience as an exterminator?” Sera turned from Adam to you. “[name], this is only a one time thing. You are most certainly not accompanying the exterminators down to Hell next year. After Adam has proven how neglectful he is-“

“No,” you gasped, the words flying out your mouth without you even thinking about them.

 The entire room seemed to freeze.

Awkwardly, you cleared your throat and continued, more gently. “No, it wasn’t his fault. See, what happened was-“ you glanced over at where Adam was seated next to you. He raised an eyebrow, face flat, and you swallowed. Your throat felt like a desert. 

“I flew off,” you continued. “He went after me, I mean, he really tried I swear. But I shook him off and ended up tearing my wing on a branch, hence the blood- he found me a while later and healed me up. The wound wasn’t too serious. It only broke some skin, and- and, I could still fly. We just lost each other in the crowd going back up to the Pentagram is all.”

What am I doing? What the hell am I doing? You could almost feel the beads of sweat forming on your brow as you smiled at her stiffly. 

Sera turned and looked at Adam, waiting for his confirmation. He looked over at you, grinning wide. You pointedly stared back, which wasn’t necessary- he didn’t miss a beat. “Yup. That’s what happened. I was tryna tell ya the whole time and you guys just weren’t listening.”

“Please let me go next year, Sera,” you pleaded, eyes widening. She chewed her lip, contemplating, as you continued. “I was perfectly fine. And I may not be an experienced exterminator, but you know more than well enough I can hold my own against a couple of mere sinners.” You shot a look at Adam.

”Yeah, [name]’s powerful as fuck-“

“I wouldn’t say powerful-“ you began, but was cut off by Sera.

“You’re far too modest, [name],” Sera smiled at you tiredly. “And what you said seems to add up. I know you’d never lie to me-“ she side-eyed Adam, who didn’t notice, continuing to pick at his nails. “-Or to anyone, for that matter. Yes, you may go again next year if you wish.”

You looked at the ground. “Thank you, Sera,” you said, your own voice ringing small in your ears.

♱♱♱

“Jeez, sugartits, I didn’t think I’ve ever heard you lie before,” Adam smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at you. You glared at him in fury, before jabbing a finger at his chest. You were both in a hallway, Sera’s office door at the end of the corridor where you had come from. 

“Watch it, Adam,” you hissed, then took a deep breath, calming yourself down. “I did it for you, so be grateful.”

“…thanks.”

You smiled at him. “No problem.” 

You both stared at each other for a few moments, before Adam spoke.

“Are we gonna fuck right now?”

“No!” You hissed, exasperated, feeling your face burn. “No, we are not. Here’s what is gonna happen, Adam. Next extermination, you’re gonna let me fly off by myself, mind your own business, and not tell Sera, and if you don’t do that, I’ll blab and tell them everything. And then they’ll hate you forever.”

He stared at you for a second, blankly. You gulped, your blood pounding in your ears. Crap. Dumb idea-

Adam finally raised an eyebrow. “Why do you want to go off sneaking around Hell during the extermination, sugartits? Got a secret?”

“Most certainly not,” you snapped. “I simply want to explore Hell alone.”

Adam stared at you for a moment. “You never say what’s on your fuckin’ mind, do ya, sugartits? You always gotta water it down to be nice. If I annoy the shit outta you, just say that.” 

Your gaze softened, then you shook your head and stared at your feet. “I’m not a mean person.”

“Not mean if it’s the truth.” He shrugged. You looked back up at him. He was wearing that familiar, shit-eating grin again. You huffed and rolled your eyes, kicking at the pristine floor. 

“Sure. Well, some people have a filter.” 

“Meh. Whatever.”

“So, will you do what I asked you to do?”

Yeah, I’ll do what you want.”

“Wait really?” You stared at him. 

“Yeah, I don’t give a fuck. Do what you want, you saved my ass from a three hour lecture back in there anyways.”

You watched him walk away until he rounded a corner and disappeared, shocked at his nonchalance, and then pressed your back to the wall and sank down, head in your hands. 

Did you seriously lie to the Seraphim just to be able to go back to Hell next year? Why? Why?

Was it because of- no way. Don’t be ridiculous. You knew Lucifer had the quality of being ‘tempting’, from what the Bible said, at least, but there was no way you were being led to temptation from a small interaction with absolutely no ‘tempting’ aspects to it. Whatsoever. 

Hell is a nice break from Heaven. And it’s interesting to see what it’s like. I’m just curious is all… 

You stared at your hands, mind flashing back to something Sera had said a while ago.

Curiosity killed the cat. 

“[name]?”

You looked up. Sera was staring down at you. “Are you alright?”

You cursed internally, your heart almost leaping out of your throat. “Yes, Sera, I’m just… thinking.”

“Perhaps I could help?”

You studied her face. It was wearing the specific, reserved look she wore for when she was suspicious but didn’t want to show it. You smiled and shook your head. 

“I’m just trying to figure out what I ate this morning that could make my stomach hurt this much.”

Sera’s face relaxed, nodding. You knew that she wouldn’t believe that you’d lie to her. You knew it would be easy to squash her suspicions. 

“Well,” Sera said, “Let me know if you need anything.”

You nodded smiled weakly again, watching her steady, deliberate steps as she disappeared around the corner, then hung your head again, sighing.

You prayed you weren’t digging yourself into a hole.

♱♱♱

A/N: Stay Tuned!

Taglist: @boredlime, @ica1, @tremendoushearttaco, @sweetadonisbutbetter, @lucky-flowey,@kitty-kei, @thornwolfy235, @w31rd3rg1rl, @marxo5, @lvstyangel

[carrotoplyn]

i like how the fandom has very different views on aiden’s parents. it’s either “oh they’re just normal parents” or “they low key kinda suck”

and ngl, i personally think they fall underneath both categories.

uhh read more about aiden’s parents (and also a bit of aiden himself) under the cut

ok so, we all know that aiden’s parents are always out for like business trips and stuff leaving aiden by himself right? that means he would probably learn to do a lot things by himself since it was just him (and im referring to before ben started living with him) which isn’t exactly normal considering that they’ve probably been doing this since he was like 10-11 ish?? and yes there’s a possibility they hired a babysitter since they’re rich, but that defeats the purpose of this post shhhhh

also even when aidens parents might’ve home, they probably ended up neglecting him, but not purposely! it’s obvious his parents are both very busy people, hence why they’re always on trips. so when aiden would want something they wouldn’t necessarily have time. they’d give him his basic needs and necessities but they wouldn’t really have time for extra things.

like they’d do family things on the occasion like sit at the dinner table and talk to aiden about school and things like that, but nothing that aiden would really want to do, if that make sense.

they love aiden like how any other parent would love their child as well, like they obviously care and all. but sometimes they just accidentally neglect him (which is like bad, regardless if it’s a accident or not)

and since aiden’s dad said he used be a quiet kid what would most likely happen was after he came back from school or something he would go to his room, maybe like read a book or something and just not bother his parents. he probably understood they were busy but he still felt like he was being ignored.

like they could take a small chunk of their own time just to do what their son wants to do and stop ignoring him. like aiden must have NOT been happy being ignored.

especially now that you can see he doesn’t like being ignored or doesn’t let go of things easily. that’s why when he first met ashlyn he kept pushing her boundaries and not leaving her alone.

he acts the way he acts as a coping mechanism from not given as much attention as he may have wanted. he not just a psychopath like half the fandom says he is.

ok that’s all, please add on and talk to me about aiden clark pleasepleaseplease

[meeks-just-wants-to-scroll]

hi 🐊 since youre asking for them ^-^ .

im having a lot of thoughts about the micah/bill/javier dynamics and also the ways bill and javier almost seem to reflect the main two sides of micah we see (quiet, brooding, thoughtful, and terrifying vs impulsive, boistrous, rowdy, and scary) and how different their relationships with micah are, but also how they both come together when they soend time as a trio ^-^ id love to hear your thoughts on all this :)

Thank you!! I am happy the F of a Feather triad got you thinking about this.

Agreed, interesting how Javier and Bill seem so far apart in personality but somehow have a common tie between Micah.

I don’t actually have a whole lot to say… I work best when I have other fan works to build off of but so many drawings and fan fics go shallow with anything relating to the triad or even the pairs that make up the triad. The most that comes to my head is the same pitch I’ve said in almost every post relating to them.

- but to try and make something worth reading… -

Javier and bill pairing with Micah could come from Micah either matching the energy or balancing the energy of the other.

—

Micah and Javier:

I can see Javier and Micah having a nice night together by accidentally sharing quality time together: parallel play with Micah shining his weapons and Javier practicing his guitar.

I notice in game that Javier sometimes stop playing if arthur approaches, which makes me think Javier is a bit reserved and him letting people be around him while he does something is special.

Micah tries his hardest to ignore others when he is at the campfire shining his weapons, but he secretly dislikes having other people around him.

And so the both of them are at the campfire and are bemused to realize they don’t mind the other’s presence: Micah doesn’t dislike the guitar plucking, and Javier doesn’t mind the flashes of motion as Micah aims and fires his empty revolver.

…

But micah and Javier could also be boisterous dorks I am suuure. Javier is in his 20’s, so is Charles. As much as the fandom likes to treat them as perfect, neither man is this flawless chill man who never does wrong and never makes brash decisions. Give micah and Javier some alcohol and I am sure both will be thrown in a jail cell like the Strawberry situation with Micah and Lenny.

I wanna see more missions with Micah and Javier and what their dynamic would be. Javier is very much a back-up gunman, but he can lead his own smaller missions. He can do stuff solo but benefits from having someone with more seniority by his side. Micah is not higher ranked than him in the gang, but he has a longer life of gunman expertise that can prove helpful.

Micah can cook up one hell of a plan for things. His plans leave too much “I have my guns, I have you, what other planning do we need?” for Javier’s comfort, hence how he can flesh out Micah’s plan. Perhaps it feels less like one is nodding the other around and trampling each other’s egos since both of them sculpted the plan.

So basically they should get tipsy and decide to follow through on a lead for money together. Micah prefers stagecoach robberies (for the thrill!), Javier likes ambush missions. I am sure if Javier could convince Micah, he too could enjoy ambush missions. Or maybe he’d see it as too easy, like shooting fish in a bucket.

—

Micah and Bill:

Micah and Bill are troublesome together but they can actually be amicable???? Wow???

Their two of them can definitely be rough. They will literally get in a fist fight if not stopped, tho it’s rare micah actually initiates a fist fight he doesn’t see himself winning. They draw out the worst in each other. They argue and pick at each other because in the pecking order of the gang, Micah is a rookie and there is less push back for Micah to prod at a gang member who is already held in low respects.

But overall they’re actually quite chill with each other. As chill as they can be. They have that silent mutual destruction that closeted gay men have.

They can share a moment where it’s just the two of them awake late at night and neither has to say a word. Micah doesn’t like people talking to him late at night, and Bill always fumbles over his words when he is tired (regardless of if he is drunk or not).

In the cold, Bill and Micah can stand next to each other and not immediately start drawing blood. They can just exist in a space and not see it as a competition.

They can go on missions and return with no bullet holes in their bodies, sometimes they even return with cash or watches! They can work, but they work best when they have a third person to keep the peace in case anything goes wrong. Who is a pretty level-headed guy who can pull his own? Wink wink: Javier.

—

Woof ngl I don’t know where I was going with this all. I’ve been scatter brained and chipping away at answering your asks.

I am glad you’re interested in F of a Feather!

[chouettecrivaine]

Love's the Only Medicine [Honkai: Star Rail]

Fandom: Honkai: Star Rail

Characters: Dr. Ratio

Notes: SO. First off, those of you waiting on Lyney fic, it is postponed for now because I'm stuck :( but for now I'm working on a Dr. Ratio fic and I'm having a little trouble so these are my headcanons for how a good/healthy relationship with him would actually work because I love to write fluff all the time <3

So, how does one go about romancing the Dr. Veritas Ratio?

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Have independence. Dr. Ratio is a busy man, and while he'd of course value your relationship (why else would he be in a relationship in the first place?), he wouldn't fare well with someone who is the clingy type. A relationship that would work best for him is one where you share in each other's missions, victories, and defeats as best as you can without melding your lives into one singular identity. With the exception of certain instances where you worked with him prior to the relationship starting/getting serious (though even then, he might drop the idea of separating your work paths a little bit to ensure there is no space for rational, scientific endeavors to be tangled with personal emotions), Dr. Ratio is perfectly content to with a relationship where some aspects of your lives don't always cross. Of course he wants to spend time with you! He just appreciates his own ability to act independently and keep work and personal matters separate. (Plus I feel like he'd find independence kinda attractive anyway :P)

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Keep him grounded. Dr. Ratio gets lost in his thoughts frequently. He understands that facts and calculations can only go so far in the real world (though they could go MUCH FURTHER in his opinion, hence his cosmic mission to eradicate foolishness) but he loves finding the rational, mathematical answer to things. It'll be up to you to navigate a little bit more expertly on this plane. If he's trying to piece together a solution to a planet's hunger crisis, well, maybe let him sort through his lofty thoughts then. But if he's simply ignoring the world and thinking for the sake of it, you'll be able to get away with poking him out of the stupor and getting him to actually communicate with the world around him.

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Be the people person, but don't apologize for him. Veritas has a tendency to rub people the wrong way. He's rude, abrasive, and arrogant. When others say such things without realizing you're nearby, you AGREE with them. But these are all things he knows, too. In most cases, how the reception of information makes somebody feel doesn't particularly concern him. But sometimes, especially now that he's actively placing himself in the social situation of being in a relationship, talking with people in a constructive way is necessary. He's fine with defaulting to you in these instances if it makes you feel useful. However, it is simply a matter of leaving a task to the one who knows better. If you start apologizing for his silence or a prior brash attitude, though, then he gets a little prickly. He stands by his behavior! Don't make him out to be someone you should have to apologize for or ashamed of.

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Have clear communication skills. Listen. Veritas is an eloquent speaker, and he says exactly what he means to. However...good communication is more than just saying words that mean exactly what you want them to. You have to present information in a way that others can receive, and that's where he falls flat. The onus will fall to you to exemplify that sort of skill. Now, you don't have to teach him step-by-step how to talk nicely, but being able to do so yourself and give him a gentle nudge when it really matters will go a long way in ensuring you're talking to each other and not at each other.

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Argue with him. Like, not actually. Argue with him academically. Veritas has stated that he feels incorrect on a matter if people agree with him. So don't agree with him! Don't spark debate just for the sake of it, but you shouldn't be afraid to voice your opinion when it goes against his. Dissent is the forebear of accuracy, after all. He won't be gentle with his arguments, but he never means to condescending when you're sharing your scholarly ideas. (Plus, this will help you get accustomed to when he is actually trying to argue you in a less casual context)

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅His love language? Quality time. Wanted all across the galaxy to solve this crisis or that, Dr. Ratio is a busy, busy man. So when you come in at the top of his list of priorities, that's how you know he's in deep. If you receive a certain love language particularly well, he can adapt! But his default is both to give and receive quality time. Even just time together that isn't attentive and specifically for each other can mean a lot to him. If you're both busy with work, he can be placated by attending to your duties but staying in the same room as each other. Don't worry about distracting him, either - as of late, he finds himself distracted when you aren't around, and at ease when you are.

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Have a hunger for knowledge. It can be intimidating to hear him denounce all fools of the universe when he doesn't give many specific answers as to what a fool is. Veritas doesn't care about a lack of knowledge; what he cares about is a lack of awareness and a lack of trying. He'd be a fool himself if he pretended as though everyone had the same access to the same level of education, or that there weren't people who gravitated towards certain skills. After all, he's widely regarded as a genius, but you don't exactly see him releasing academic journals on any musical studies, do you? (Now, could he write one? Probably. But that's not the point.) As tough of a teacher as he is, what he's after is undying tenacity; that you never falter in the face of obstacles, and that you never place your scholarship on a shelf so high it winds up collecting dust, unused. If you don't know something, that's fine - go figure it out! Don't just say 'I don't know' and leave the matter at that. Learning through experience is an incredibly strong way of gathering knowledge. Just...don't expect him to be any nicer about your lack of prior knowledge just because you are close to him or you are trying to remedy that. At the end of the day, you did fall in love with a guy who's just kind of an ass sometimes :/

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Be honest. This is one that could go for anybody in any relationship, but it is a top priority for Dr. Ratio. He's based his entire life on searching and spreading absolute truth in every corner of the cosmos. Normally, this takes the form of objective, empirically provable fact. But he finds it frustrating if you won't be honest about your feelings or what you want, how is he to know what to do? You'll have him acting like a fool with your refusal to face your own truth! (This is, of course, a roundabout way of saying that he doesn't have it in him to be playing games. Be straightforward with him, please. It'll be much easier for the both of you that way.)

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Don't be afraid to get a little poetic on him. Veritas is a scientific man. He understands artistic endeavors, of course, but that isn't how his brain is wired. He operates in verifiable conclusions and building hypotheses, not the more abstract patterns of intuition or leading by the heart. He can analyze and understand such things, but if you want him to be able to appreciate the aesthetic beauty of the world, you will probably have to lead by example. You won't change his way of thinking, but maybe if you see a rare bird one day, he'll appreciate the opportunity to see something so rare and beautiful instead of analyzing how far it has deviated from its normal breeding grounds.

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Flirting is a game, but love isn't. Don't be so dull with him! Dr. Ratio would love an opportunity to subtly ash his wits about yours in a little flirtatious back-and-forth. Both in the early stages and a more established relationship, Dr. Ratio loves a good challenge and could spend all night just trying to out-flirt the other. Regardless of whether or not you're one to get flustered, he loves your reactions anyway. Sheepishness, frustration, no emotion whatsoever - whatever you feel,, he finds how you try to school your expressions into complete apathy amusing. He is hard to fluster himself, but if he continues the same line of teasing in the morning the next day, you can assume he's been thinking about you all night. However! Dr. Ratio often expects people, especially those precious few who he respects, to operate on his level. If he's truly buckling down for the long game, he'll make sure to make his feelings clear. Flirtation is always on the table, but "playing hard to get" or trying to "keep him guessing" as you near a truly established relationship is a turn off. Flirt for fun, not to manipulate his interest in you. Believe him, he would've left by now if he wanted to.

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Look beyond his scientific approach to matters of the heart. In loving anybody, you'll have to learn how to read between certain lines. Even if you are a pure-blooded emotionally charged person, Veritas can only meet you halfway on the road to compromise. Take the time to study how he speaks and what he means- concise as he is, speaking so straightforwardly all the time often has an opposite affect on his words when he's trying to be romantic. Learn the ways he looks after you and tries to make your life easier without asking; notice how he spends a large portion of his available time with you, even if it means dragging you along to discussing things with people who he feels are completely beneath his IQ; realize that his tone may always be steadfast and dominating, but he never speaks out to shut you down or demean you the way he does to others. If you can translate all the little ways he uses to show you how much he values you, then you may just find yourself in a relationship far more enriching than you'd expect.

[acearohippo]

"Effed up media"? You know, shows like supernatural, Dexter, life with Derek. The last two featured "step siblings", a common trope sadly :/

There were also some shows here and there I can't remember where the evil siblings were uncomfortably close. Ragnarok comes to mind for an example.

Anime does it. All. The. Time. To the point where I don't watch it as much anymore ☹️

Fantasy books, especially in the YA section, featured this a lot (with step siblings, I think people just don't know how to write step siblings) and then c*ss*ndra Cla*re highlighted an even worse trope: the heroine, finding out she has the blood of [insert high fantasy royalty or creature] gets swept off her feet by a handsome dude who's either the second male lead or the plot twist villain, only the bigger plot twist at the end reveals he's actually, also, her brother 😱😱 oh no, how will they "will they/won't they" now 😱😱 easily apparently, the author will just continue to let him flirt ☹️

Lol, I'm going to throw PJO (percy jackson) into this because I was totally fine with the pairings there until he spent a few pages trying to "it's not really incest" us, the readers, which did the opposite for me and plagued me for the rest of the series. 🤣

But I more often than not saw it in books aimed for teen girls, so I eventually avoided them like the plague only picking up a series after peaking at the fandom. My rule of thumb was, if I saw a lot of inc*st tags, then I would avoid that series.

Likewise, there have been fandoms I was in that took perfectly healthy familial relationships and decided to make them the main ship, or one of the top ships, of the fandom. I learned my lesson, though, and just won't join fandoms where the main characters or one of the main characters are a healthy family.

Below the cut is mentions of works that feature explicit content, nothing in detail but considering the context of this post, it may be more triggering. Please proceed with caution and care.

Only one time, was there an author in the YA section, that made actual inc*st books. Most of her books also featured smut. Like, heavily detailed, foreplay-org*sm, smut. In the TEEN/YA section of every library I visited. Her books fearured inc*st, mast*rbation/self discovery (the girls were always less than 10 🤢 one was six but went through a super early puberty, don't recommend), inc*st, pa*d*philia/eph*b*philia, and more inc*st. To this day, I still am lost to how they made it into the section. If anything in my past would scar me, it would be this author's works. But I digress, there's your answer.

I'm pretty sure Li Ling knows that Tang Yun has a very... Toxic... Thing on his brother. To me it reads heavily as inc*stuous but that's due to all the media I've consumed ruining so many sibling relationships that now I'm uber sensitive to that sort of thing.

Regardless, I think we all can agree that Tang Yun is not in a healthy mindset, especially with how he obsesses over Tang Xuan.

And I put forth this theory that Li Ling is aware of how Tang Yun feels and, as such, is protective of Tang Xuan, who does not- can not- see it.

First of all, it is clear that Tang Xuan and Li Ling talk to each other a lot. Not just in person but on the phone ("communicator") all the time. We have a few stories where, when one is mentioned the other is also brought up or where one is, the other is somewhere near.

For the purpose of this theory, we will focus on the communicator, as we see that Tang Xuan doesn't necessarily text often (probably too busy for it, lmfao) but does use the social app. Li Ling seems to be the first to notice that Tang Xuan is MIA, just by the fact that he doesn't answer his calls.

Look at the time stamps of Li Ling's messages.

There are huge gaps of time between his first three messages, before Tang Xuan replies to him when he gets his phone back. And, after Tang Xuan responds, Li Ling's message comes in 2 hours later, talking about some "weak ass miramon".

Fine. Sure.

But if you go over to the social media app, you see this post from Tang Yun:

Lemme preface by reminding y'all this is my personal theory on the order of events, as this app doesn't have any convenient time stamps (:/), but I think we can assume this message comes hours before Tang Xuan gets his phone back.

Two questions pop up:

1. How does he know Tang Xuan is "missing"?

2. Who is accusing him of abducting Tang Xuan?

Tang Xuan then responds to him- maybe after he makes his "I'm not dead!! :P" post, maybe before- and after that is when he gets this message from Tang Yun:

Again, take note of the time. This is well after Tang Xuan has replied to Li Ling, about 8 hours later. I believe that in between his reply to Li Ling and Tang Yun's text, he posts his "I'm still alive!! Cx" social media post,

which then alerts Tang Yun that his brother isn't missing which then prompts his text.

Ok, we all on the same timeline now? Good. THEORY TIME.

I propose that Li Ling (Who is accusing him of abducting Tang Xuan?), not receiving any response from Tang Xuan for near 24 hrs, sent him on a warpath to who he assumes is the most likely culprit of the impromptu dissapearance- Tang Yun.

Li Ling and Tang Xuan talk all. The. Time. Li Ling absolutely knows that, in his previous mission, Tang Xuan came face to face with his brother. And Li Ling probably knows about how Tang Yun admitted to how he would monopolise the one he loves' time and attention, keep them to himself. Tang Xuan probably spared no details going through the entire mission.

Li Ling probably picked up instantly that Tang Yun was referring to Tang Xuan as that "someone he loves" and, remember, this mission takes place not even a week after the Crow one, so it's still fresh in Li Ling's mind, the words Tang Yun said about keeping his loved one to himself. And now Tang Xuan is missing...?

Yeah, I think he went straight for Tang Yun, got pissed (and probably a bit relieved) when he realised Tang Yun did not kidnap Tang Xuan, and then went off to try find him himself, taking on hoards of miramon (enough that he would miss a respond from Tang Xuan by two hours) much to the worry of Lewis and their friends. Then Li Ling tried to play it off for a bit, acting like he was just doing normal union things except Lewis explicitly says that he was actively trying to calm "everyone" down.

Lewis?

Calming people down?

Dude gets fired up at the drop of a pin... Except when someone is in crisis mode, and from his like FIVE CAMEOS (freaking dislyte, give us more Lewis pleaaase) we only really see him act level headed when he's with Tang Xuan and Li Ling.

So, methinks Li Ling might've tried to rally the troops to find Tang Xuan, Leora- an obvious choice as she's a living bishoujo heroine- probably got caught up in the dramatics of it, David and Q too (simple minded David just always ready to be there or be square, Q sniffing a potential story) etc etc. So they're all just psyching each other up and/or out so now Lewis has his crisis that he can take charge in and de-escalate.

Meanwhile, Tang Yun now knows that his brother is missing (How does he know Tang Xuan is "missing"?) and I can only guess how pissed off he got, his mental stability taking a swan dive into the Marianas Trench of all the possibilities of where his brother could be and scenarios where he would keep him by his side, so that this could never occur again. Hence the very aggressive threat (promise?) that he would hogtie Tang Xuan for his own good if this were to occur again.

The fact that he uses the word hogtie is very disturbing and, for those that aren't sure what that looks like, here's an as SFW-as-tying-people-up-can-be demonstration I could find of it

We are going to ignore the NSFW implications, and just focus on the vulnerability this position puts a person into.

This is the kind of messages Tang Yun sends his brother.

This is the kind of imagery he wants to put his brother in.

And Li Ling knows. He freaking knows and is probably one of the few espers who caught on that something was off with Tang Yun.

And Tang Xuan is

So

Damn

Oblivious ヽ(`д´；)/

Like damn, boy, I understand, he's your brother- that's just NOT something a healthy sibling would ever imagine their sibling would do or think or act. But by golly, could you maybe just focus on what he's saying rather than picking out the most inconsequential, insignificant parts? 😭 Bro is ignoring every red flag and siren.

[autistic-ben-tennyson]

In Defense of Shinji/Rei

Out of all the pairings in the Evangelion fandom, Shinji/Rei is one of the most controversial and least popular, especially here on tumblr. It did have some popularity at one point but that has died down in favor of Kawoshin and Asurei. It’s a ship that I, and many others, feel is often mischaracterized and dismissed due to its more controversial elements but one that is honestly very emotional and deserves less hate in my opinion, as do it’s shippers who people also have a misguided view of. Fandom in general has become more moralistic and puritanical in recent years. It’s like no one learned a thing from the SU fandom discourse where people were bullied or called homophobic for liking a certain pairing over the other.

Argument 1: she’s his mother/sister

The most common criticism of the pairing is that it’s incest and that their relationship is that of a brother-sister or mother-son. First, Rei’s whole arc in the show is that she’s not just a clone or copy of Yui or Lilith. She’s her own person with her own desires which is why her loyalty to Gendo wanes as she becomes more of an individual. Her DNA also isn’t that similar to Shinji and only a small amount of Yui’s was used. The rest was affected by Lilith hence the differences in their appearance. So there is a little bit of blood relation but it’s not on the same level of say Bwen or Pinecest. Incest is terrible because it’s a betrayal of family trust and abuse but Shinji and Rei met as teens and were not raised as siblings, nor did he know of her origin until Ritsuko explained it.

I’ve also seen the argument that their bond is sibling-like or Shinji views her as a Madonna/mother figure. Anno has stated that he intended there to be a “love triangle” with the pilot trio and show’s proposal described Rei as having “learned about feelings when she fell in love”. While that info comes from Reddit and may not be reliable, it does challenge the idea that there was no intention for their dynamic to be romantic.

Next, antis really take that elevator scene out of context where Shinji was complimenting her on being like a mom while ignoring him telling her she’d make a good housewife. The rebuilds and manga make their connection more blatant but it was always there. Misato, Toji and Kensuke all tease Shinji about his crush and the two act as friends after warming up despite their icy first interactions. There may be some maternal aspects to it but it’s rather simplistic to dumb their bond down to a family connection. It seems antis argue that they’re siblings because the romantic implications are uncomfortable and antis don’t want to admit that they do have feelings for each other.

Argument 2: it’s misogynistic and queer erasure

Okay, this is a less common argument against it but one I’ve seen from popular Eva analysis writers that view Kawoshin as the only valid pairing for Shinji. I’ve seen it used against Asushin and Marishin too. This goes hand and hand with the idea that Shinji views Rei as a Madonna and is misogynistic. I have a lot of thoughts about the “Shinji is an incel misogynist and Asuka did nothing wrong” discourse but that’s for another day. He’s not a perfect uwu soft boy but fans seem to base his entire characterization off the hospital scene in rather single issue Eva analyses that cherry-pick certain scenes or dialogue.

The argument that it’s queer erasure is one I’m starting to despise. Yes, there are homophobic dudebro fans who hate Kawoshin but not everyone who prefers a “straight” pairing is anti gay. Shinji could still be bisexual and be in a m/f relationship. I’ve also seen some ship him in a polycule with Rei and Kaworu. Plus, not everyone has to interpret the show or character the same way. The writers made it so people can view Kawoshin as romantic and Shinji as queer, but never demanded that be the only possible interpretation.

This kind reminds me of something I’ve occasionally seen in the Ben 10 fandom too. A few fans, not all of them, treating the wholesome gay ship as the only good pairing because of the problematic elements in the m/f ships or because they view the male protagonist as a misogynist. The “male character is sexist or a bad boyfriend so let’s make him gay” is also a fandom trope that kind of irritates me. Not every ship has be gay or a girlboss romance either.

Argument 3: they’re kids and you can’t ship them

This is one of the least common criticisms but one that I’ve occasionally encountered. First, they’re 14 which is around the time a lot of teens start dating. Second, romance =/= sex and child/teen characters can have romantic feelings for each other. Yes, ship wars over fictional kids can escalate but there’s nothing wrong with just liking a pairing. This post about Chihiro and Haku’s bond from Spirited Away kind of applies here too.

My thoughts: why do I love this pairing?

I first fell in love with this ship because I watched the rebuilds first on Amazon Prime and didn’t know the series was on Netflix because my account, embarrassingly, still has parental controls on it. I know they’re not everyone’s cup of tea but I liked them. Shinji was a character I really connected to and so was Rei. Their relationship got me a bit emotional and the scene where Shinji attempts to save her had me on the edge of my seat, while the scene where Shinji accepts Rei Q got a tear out of me as did the apology scene in 3.0+1.0.

If I had to compare them to any other pairing, which I’ve done before, it would be Hodaka/Hina from Weathering with You which also is a bit divisive and a bit of a tearjerker. Ironically, EoE is one of Makoto Shinkai’s favorites and he considers Anno an inspiration. Everything from their bond to Hodaka’s character and Hina’s arc of a blue haired girl, blackish-blue in Hina’s case, that’s lived a difficult life and who’s only purpose is to be a sacrificial lamb, learning to pray for herself is a lot like Shinji/Rei, down the ending of WWY being a lot like that of 2.22. The scene where Hodaka gives Hina a promise ring is also a little like the “smile” moment from Episode 6/1.11.

Conclusion

In short, Shinji/Rei isn’t a bad pairing and is overhated and misrepresented by many in the fandom. It’s fine to dislike it or prefer another ship but one can do so without chomping at the bit to paint its shippers as homophobes, misogynists or people with incest fetishes or Oedipal complexes. Many of us like it because it’s one of the least toxic relationships in the series and is honestly a very powerful story. Are there some questionable elements in it? Sure, but you can like a ship even if it’s not up to golden moral standards and expecting every pairing to be unproblematic is ridiculous. Real life is much more grey than what moralistic fans claim.

[do-you-ship-this-comic-ship]

propaganda:

This is for all of my fellow Two-Face and Gilda lovers out there! Personally I think that BruHarvey as a ship is underrated because of how much more popular other Rogues are (especially the Joker and the Riddler), and the prominence of ships between Bruce and various members of the Justice League (and of course the various comp het ships DC keeps trying to force Bruce into).

In comparison Harvey just doesn't really capture the fandom's imagination as much. Therefore BruHarvey isn't super popular because they don't consider it as an option a lot of the time. But that being said, I also find that a lot of people when presented with BruHarvey as a possible ship will be pretty amenable to it! It's just a fantastic ship if you want some old man/toxic/tragic yaoi! The ship has so much going for it! Childhood friends to lovers. Enemies to lovers. Friends in their civilian identities, as they try to pursue justice for Gotham together, and even friends after Harvey becomes a villain too! It's SO juicy and has SO much unexplored potential if DC weren't COWARDS and would just let Brucie kiss men already! Each of their themes of justice, duality, and redemptive love mirror one another in such an exceedingly tantalizing way that I could write a whole college thesis on it! But I'm not just here about them. I'm also here for my girl Gilda too!

Now BruHarvey may be an underrated ship... And Two-Face as a character is just about rated as a character (not underrated. Not overrated. Just rated). But Gilda...? My poor, poor girl Gilda! Writers never know what to do with her and refuse to give her the justice she deserves!!! Gilda is a big part of the reason why Two-Face was able to work so well as a character and concept all the way back in the 40's in the first place! I don't think that Harvey would have been as iconic of a character with as much staying power as he does with just... SO MANY imitators if it weren't for Gilda's presence and ability to help Harvey redeem himself! The whole point of Harvey as a character is that while he might be a villain, he is never too far gone as to not deserve a chance at redemption. He genuinely cannot help himself when it comes to the compulsion of doing crime. And in his original stories, he was able to redeem himself and reach a happy ending with Gilda helping him, supporting him, and loving him through that journey.

The reason that Batman doesn't kill is largely because of Harvey himself! His childhood friend that he deeply cares about, and who, no matter how much society at large, and even Harvey himself tells Bruce that he is beyond saving, that he still cares about nevertheless and will NEVER give up on! And Gilda was the first person to never give up on Harvey and was the one to lead him back to the light! In a time where Batman might still occasionally use a gun and where the punishment most criminals would recieve in the comics was death or a lifetime of jail, never to be seen again, Two-Face stood out because of his redemption! A redemption that the writers of the comics stuck to for decades in spite of a clear demand to have Two-Face back as a threat! (Hence the many, many imitators.) And sure, the helpless damsel who saves the bad guy through the power of love may be a tired trope these days, but it's still one that can work very well, and as a woman first written in the 40's Gilda actually has a surprising amount to her that later writers would forget or just outright ignore! Gilda clearly was a female character who had more going on in her life other than her boyfriend at the time she was first written. She was actually a sculptor!

A woman with her own well-respected career entirely divorced from her DA boyfriend's! And while Harvey was her primary muse, I have doubts that her career just stopped when he turned to crime! After all, she seems to have been a woman who owned a house and lived on her own and had enough wealth to spend her free time going to the movies (and apparently buying herself mysterious cloaks). In the 1940's! We love a woman who can get everything on her own without needing a man (though it is a nice bonus) in this household! And she was doing it as an artist when that stuff was less common! And her other biggest trait is her unshaking love and loyalty for Harvey. I think that it's genuinely interesting how the crime and murder matters very little to Gilda (and similar characters that fill her role in stories). What she doesn't like is how he lies and tries to decieve her specifically. She would die for Harvey. She would kill for Harvey. She will stay with and help him through thick and thin. No matter what.

And very few pieces of media do her character justice! The Long Halloween may ostensibly be about her, but they gave her nothing in her life other than the men she associates with, a desire for children, and murder. Not even a hint that she was a sculptor, barely a hint that she studied law or anything that other iterations offered! She's my girl! And she could honestly offer a number of very interesting story posibilities, if only writers saw her potential! But clearly they don't given that for the last several decades, they've been writing her out of stories, or killing her off in brutal fashion so that they don't have to deal with the question of what she's up to while Harvey is doing his crime stuff. Hell. Gilda was the catalyst for the Long Halloween, so why isn't Dark Victory about nor even include her in person!??? Why not explore her being Duela Dent's mother!? Why not show her standing by Bruce's side while the both of them try to help Harvey recover!??? Why do the writers try to make Harvey NOT a wife guy!? Why can't they let Gilda be around and Harvey's wife that's cooler and more chill than him!? Why must Harvey be single!? By far he has the best romantic chemistry with (out of anyone who isn't Gilda) Bruce and no other major character! But if you stick Harvey and Bruce together for that sweet, sweet tragic yaoi and angst... Well... First of all DC are COWARDS who refuse to let Bruce be into dudes. And second of all, why not just let Bruce, Harvey, and Gilda be together and poly!!!? But I'm no coward! Double the partners means double the chances for tragedy and angst! (Or comedy if you'd like!) And double the possibilities for love, recovery, and redemption! Gilda wouldn't and shouldn't give up on Harvey!

And Bruce and Gilda cheating on Harvey without his blessing!??? BROKE! Them being in a polycule? Excellent! And if you need any proof that Bruce, Harvey, and Gilda could be a functional polycule, you should read the daily newspaper Batman comics as archived on @daily-batman! Because they make a GREAT case for it there, and seeing their relationship develop in that story is just delightful! Harvey watches Batman (that he's half figured out is Bruce) kiss his wife (named Alice but like... She's CLEARLY just Gilda with a different name!) and isn't bothered by it AT ALL other than it giving her hope that he can get better! Kissing his wife? That he understands and is perfectly fine with. But giving her HOPE!!!??? Now THAT'S a line too far! Sounds like something someone poly might do! And also... That series finale!!! Lol. Harvey getting jealous of and trying to kill Bruce for thinking that he's stealing his girl? Nah. Broke. Harvey being a-okay with Bruce smooching his wife because he's already in love with Bruce too...? HELL YEAH! Let's do it! Who needs love triangles when you can have power throuples instead!??? Join the few of us that enjoy the ship! And give Gilda and BruHarvey the love they deserve!!!!

Also just LOOK at the image I sent and tell me that it DOESN'T look like Bruce, Harvey, and Gilda are getting poly-married! BruHarvey is juicy and even more juicy with the added DLC of Gilda in the mix! And Gilda deserves the whole world! Give them the world!

[aleksanderscult]

Was Aleksander power-hungry or wanted power to use it for the protection of his people?

This question is one of the most hotly debatable in this fandom and I decided to clear this out not by analyzing his words through the POV of other characters (who don't believe him and therefore the reader finds him a liar) but through his own perspective in "Rule of Wolves".

So let's take an objective look inside his own thoughts and find out.

His very first thoughts were how could he reclaim his powers, describing the whole experience as somewhat painful and confusing to him. His second were about Alina.

And these are his third ones. He explains how utterly worthless Nikolai and Zoya are to save Ravka. How immature and weak. Aleksander finds himself to be the only one able for this task. His powers, experience and general abilities are testament to that.

But note how he calls Ravka "his country". From the carved woods decorating his bedroom to his knowledge of "every pebble and branch" of it, this country is special to him. He loves it, feels a connection to it and wants to protect it.

(You just can't call the Darkling "unpatriotic")

He displays bitterness for his loss and Ravka's new state just verifies to him that his plans would only prevent this decaying fate.

Yuri: "Sankta Alina who gave her life for Ravka"

Aleksander: "Am I a joke to you?"

And indeed is he?

Aleksander displays a very strong resentment for the lack of recognition he has gained. His statement: "I gave my life for Ravka" probably doesn't only allude to his death from Alina's hands but also his total commitment in the protection of the Grisha and Ravka that lasted for centuries. He gave his life away by pushing his personal happiness and well-being aside and wholly dedicating his life and skills to a selfless goal. He wasted years, allies, soldiers, endured otkazat'sya Kings that rule him, a bitter mother and his own immortality only for others to hurriedly erase any memory of him once he's gone.

So it seems that his desire to be seen only stems from his long-awaited and secret wish for his actions to be recognized.

Based on the last screenshot, he views his actions as justified not because of a "power-hungry nature" but out of his efforts to help others. Whether these actions are justified or not depends on the reader.

I believe this is one of the most concrete evidence that Aleksander truly cared about the Grisha.

He felt intense anger for those who were ignorant and apathetic towards the Grisha's fate and he himself cared about who was gonna sit the Ravkan throne.

No matter how much humanity he shed as the years passed, it seems that he didn't shed all of it by the time of these books.

Apparently Aleksander had two main goals in this book:

- To protect his people and country as he always strived to do.

- For others to finally give him some credit and have their acknowledgment that yes, he has done something for this country all these years.

In order to help the Grisha and change their fates he needed to be in a position of strength, hence his desire to take the throne. He views himself as a fatherly figure towards his people. A protector and guardian.

But he also wants to become a Saint and king. For people to look up to him. So many Saints had done less than half in comparison to Aleksander and they still won people's love. Now it's his turn and he thinks he deserves it.

I'm adding a short parenthesis here.

His concern didn't only extent to the Grisha but to his blind, otkazat'sya followers as well.

He cared about what would happen in the battlefield and seemed ready to create nichevo'ya to protect them. Merzost is extremely painful but this "selfish" villain is ready to use it to protect his naive but innocent army.

A hundred of years ago Aleksander refused the King's gold as payment for his services. Instead he opted to plead for the construction of a palace. A home and haven for all the Grisha that were hiding out of fear from the persecution against them.

He saw his chance and took it to make the lives of his people a little better.

So this whole "the Darkling created the Fold out of his desire for power" was bullshit after all.

He wanted power but only to use it to end the wars. Ironically, the result of it (aka. the Fold) only aggravated the problem.

And the Darkling's dream never came entirely true. He gave them a home but never a safe life. Ravka was almost always at war, Grisha were never accepted, the Ravkan kings never paid much attention to the Grisha's problems regarding their role in society which placed them almost at the bottom of the food chain.

All these things worried Aleksander and pushed him to action both when he created the Fold and when he started the Civil War.

The Darkling has a very different mentality than those who don't have the burden of immortality on their shoulders.

Aleksander uses time as an advantage and has a remarkable patience. He bides his time and strikes when he sees the opportunity, leaving other people to die since they're only just a part of a whole. He probably thinks: "Well, I'll meet plenty more new otkazat'sya in the future so why should I be concerned for this bunch here?"

But the bleak future of the Grisha make him stop and think. They're the only reason why he stays and fight and why he proclaimed Zoya a Saint.

So it's obvious that Aleksander only used power for the benefit of his people and country.

- When king Yevgeni offered him a handsome reward, Aleksander turned it down and chose to appeal for a better future for the rest of the Grisha.

- When the wars didn't stop coming and Grisha were again getting killed, he tried to use merzost to augment his powers and put a stop to it.

- When he tried to use the Fold as a weapon with Alina at his side, he did it to place Ravka in a stronger position in comparison to his enemies.

- He viewed Nikolai and Zoya dangerous to the rest of the country.

- He was concerned of what would happen to the Grisha if Demidov became king.

- He was determined to save Ravka and lead it as their king and protector.

- Even though he thought of leaving, he stayed out of concern for the Grisha (again).

Contrary to the people who say that the Darkling began selfless but by the time of these books became selfish, it seems that he never lost his selflessness. He still kept thinking about others and his last moments he was unrepentant for his crimes since he did them for others not for himself. It's true that he had pride and an ego but rightfully so. No one else was as powerful or as capable as him to make a change and, honestly, no one else made a decent effort but him.

He also displayed a strong bitterness for the fact that others were so quick to forget him and his actions. He felt wronged that after all he had done, none wanted to acknowledge his own part in the protection of Ravka. He wanted to be seen and appreciated. His anger and indignation came from a place of injustice as he saw it. Whatever he did was labeled as wrong and people only feared him, never feeling gratefulness or love towards him. The Darkling wanted others to give him his due for what he went through, did and tried to do. Recognition after so many years of feeling invisible and hated.

It was something that even his enemies admitted about him:

The strongest evidence of his yearning to shield his country is how he willingly gave his life for it at the end. He would be tortured forever but at least his people wouldn't forget him and he would have fulfilled his desired role as a protector of his country.